Illuminations

cabezadetrompo @ 2005-09-21T23:31:00

2005-09-22T06:39:48Z

Today I discovered the mature pleasure of getting drunk alone. I sneaked into the adjacent suite, with a half-intention of stealing beer, although my formal purpose was to ask Bibler if he knew anyone who could sell shrooms to Mirko. Zagha told me Bibler was out and then proceeded to leave so that I remained alone with the bounty. I grabbed a can and went back to my room and my computer. Once that beer was downed I thought that stealing another can of that cheap ass bud light wouldn't harm Clarence at all. After that one another; the small dinner made for my quickly getting tipsy. Stan came by and took me to beer pong. I met a scraed/starry-eyed freshmen from Wisconsin and I resisted making my usual (now fairly trite) joke of mixing up irrelevant midwestern states (I actually don't know if Wisconsin is in the mid-west) and say "Oh, that's in Wyomming right?" She looked so young, my brother's age. All these freshmen, my brother's age.
Then I went to the gym to inflate some bicep. It felt good. No math homework, spanish correcting, or philosophy reading was done. I need more nights like this.

Coke, Coca, Cocaine?

2005-07-02T11:11:58Z

Amsterdam, Red Light district 30/06-02/07.
It was so in-your-face obvious who was a drug dealer that I felt an awkward sort of shame. Everytime you walked by them they would utter a random permutation of the words coke, coca, cocaine; no repetitions. At the moment I thought it was to avoid the guilt of selling hard drugs: saying "Coke, Coke, Coke" sounds a little too decadent, shameless. They probably did it only just because everyone did.
Time's out!

serotonin high... not

2005-05-23T09:47:34Z

Today I woke up, still narcotized, on the floor of a hotel room in downtown Los Angeles. So mission accomplished. The night before there was cocaine and glowsticks and high school kids relishing and consolidating the reactionary individuality which makes them collectively one. examples:
abram's long gaze
slap-my-lower-calf (fleshy, muscular!)
Pedro, Mia
dry sex on the king-size bed
Tomorrow I fly back in time like a hundred years, so no more postmodern teenage fun until next august.

cabezadetrompo @ 2005-05-19T03:51:00

2005-05-19T08:06:09Z

I update forcibly, I don't feel like having a voice today.
LA is exactly as I expected it to be. Katie and Hannah love each other beyond words. I'm going to visit them in their apartment next year more often than it is appropiate, but I won't fall in love with either of them.
Now to add some volume:

The reading of the wall flower,
Will commence soon. Please take your seats,
and remember to turn off your
cigarette butts because we are short in
unskilled labor. Please remember to
breathe deeply during the show: it is also
an olfactory spectacle.
Please don’t poke or talk or kiss
your nearest inmate, there is peace in our hall yes,
but we don’t need to make it at all explicit.
There is a hymn book in the pocket of the seat
In front of you, please take it and follow
the assembly closely. Please sing, we need
as many voices as we can. A richly layered
and thickly chorused reading is always more
retrospectively heartwarming.
For your convenience, there is a room right outside
the hall where you can hang your tuxedo,
should you grow at all uneasy or worried or clad.
Once again, remember to inhale deeply and associate
profusely: it is the inmost cure for the faltering memory.

My mom will hang me when she find out how much money I'm spending in LA.

cabezadetrompo @ 2005-04-25T01:28:00

2005-04-25T05:28:33Z

gorgeous thing!

GRAMMAR

2005-04-25T05:26:39Z

Le Corbusier’s ideas on technology and industrial society in ‘Towards a New Architecture’ (1922) might seem to be a blend of positivist ideas inherent in pre-modern architecture and modern conceptions of the individual and society. On one hand he makes Weberian claims like “Industry, overwhelming us like a flood which rolls on towards its destined ends, has furnished us with new tools adapted to this new epoch, animated by the new spirit.” (Le Corbusier 6). On the other, he subscribes to apparently positivistic views: throughout his work he operates on the implicit assumption that technology is first and foremost a tool to solve particular and discreetly defined problems (the problem of flying, the problem of the house, etc.) Furthermore, he argues against the plurality of architectural styles, claiming that there is one, objectively superior aesthetic defined by function – that of the engineer. If modernity rejects the belief in absolutes, both moral and aesthetic, then this idea, at the core of his architectural thought appears retrograde.

I could expectorate on this

2005-04-07T03:44:19Z

Right now I'm in the underground library, my laptop's hard drive was today announced offically dead; they hit it with a hammer and called its name three times and no, no response.
Tonight was secret society tap night and people dressed in their hieros-gamos wear (masks included) did their thing. To my surprise it wasn't particularly scary. I was lying on a sofa reading A Panegyric Upon Abraham when two of them came in. They took one of the tapped, blindfolded seniors to a booth, and picked up a second one that waited inside it. As they walked back towards the entrance passed right beside me. When we crossed looks I couldn't help smirking, as I looked directly inside the small slit above his left eye.

tales from the thousand legs

2005-03-28T06:32:06Z

At times I feel faint and sudden flickers of my anticipated individuation. Although sometimes I have distinct memories of where they happened, I never recall the thoughts (which are not so much thoughts as they are confused and almost visual, almost liquid impressions) that went through me at that point.
I am still somewhat of a virgin, so yesterday's pot smoking was memorable enough to mention. Once again I sat down at my desk, this time listening to music instead of attempting wishfully meaningful, spontaneous stick-man art in mspaint. It was so beautiful that I wanted to major in religious studies, (which would, by the way, fulfill Max's prophecy at the expense of Sr. Ruiz's) I spent sometime today reading about entheogens, religion, and pharmacological utopias. It all scares the crap out of me.

Those ruins in the back, they are a condor. I am a cuzquenian hippie.

cabezadetrompo @ 2005-03-01T21:17:00

2005-03-02T02:19:22Z

And Lo! The Urizens and Urthronas
Clasping the throne of London with
Impervious calamity, didst succumb to
The fallacy of Israel.
The clanging megalopolis,
Quenching the fire spun by the
Seven-headed fiend, brandishes
The Apocalyptic helicon,
Double-intertwined; combined
with gracious counterpoint.
In contrary motion, inversion and
Other Newtonian marvels rejoices the
Retrograde’s fancy.

cabezadetrompo @ 2005-03-01T20:55:00

2005-03-02T02:03:13Z

El Doctor Bricamonte, hace ya unos meses, le habia recetado comer veinte escargots semanales para cuararle el mal de ojo. Jacinto no tenia idea de aquello, y se conformo con meter la postal en el bolsillo izquierdo de su chamarra llena de plumas de ganso.

Un poco mas alla vio que el camino, hasta entonces sinuoso, se volvia repentinamente recto hasta el punto de fuga en el horizonte. Tenia delante de si mismo un triangulo isoceles perfecto por el cual enrumbarse. Esta, se dijo a si mismo, es una senal de que el pais de las nieves no debe estar ya muy lejos.

Es extrano caminar por una figura geometrica perfecta, que hasta entonces, Jacinto solo creia existia como abstraccion Platonica o sintesis Kantiana. Era, pues, un dia que revoluciono la epistemologia que Jacinto.

cabezadetrompo @ 2005-02-28T23:01:00

2005-03-01T04:02:09Z

Jacinto, el niño de las canicas azulinas, salio un día de su casa, que quedaba a tres cuartos de camino hacia la cumbre de la Colina Parabolica, rumbo al pais de las nieves. Su madre, que tanto lo queria, lo abrigo con una bufanda, chamarra y guantes. Le dio un beso en la frente y Jacinto se enrumbo hacia el frio gelido que tanto lo intrigaba.
Mientras caminaba, encontro en el camino una postal venida de Francia, dirigida hacia el doctor del pueblo, Doctor Clandestino Bricamonte. Decia lo siguiente:

“Doctor, no he podido cumplir con su recado esta manana, poco a poco, y con mucha paciencia, pues con paciencia todo se puede, lograre comer mas de veinte escargots”

No es pollo.

2005-02-23T23:21:34Z

L

I eat lobster delicious, served
On a silver plate rimmed with golden
Medals tender, boiled and spiced
With lemon juice. Fruity, meaty, tender
Language used improper, I mind not
My lobster delicious I churn and chew and gulp.

cabezadetrompo @ 2005-02-10T03:06:00

2005-02-10T08:11:26Z

I miss daniel and pata and their insatiable craving for variegated beers.

Snow is fun until it hits you on the mouth and breaks your lip.

2005-01-25T06:20:05Z

I just spent an hour and a half sweeping and and cleaning the common room. There was so much dust everywhere and empty packets of candy, chocolate, action figures other childish things kept emerging from the floor.

the land isnt as silent during the storm

2005-01-23T23:10:34Z

,, ,, ,, ,,

E E E

SSSS

:O

cabezadetrompo @ 2005-01-05T13:48:00

2005-01-05T18:49:13Z

current goals for life:
profundity of soul
social ease
own an extremely trendy bar/lounge where I can be god, exercise my newfound social ease and play only the music I want.

the assault of mersault

2004-12-30T06:01:05Z

Today I went downtown and had to bribe a cop. It made me feel so back in peru and scaringly close to my father. Poker night, where I was supposed to teach texas hold'em to the usual poker clique was thwarted by the host's evening of hot sex with his 24 year old girlfriend.
I spoke with Luiggi who survived the robbing of his cell phone on his way to Mancora and it made happy when he told me I'm being missed. There's no way I could have gone, though, simply too much weed and braindead surfers and similar nights of all male drunken conversation at a seaside den of extra gaseous beer. I would have enjoyed Juanjo's hilarious company but in the end his LA hedonistic postrevisionist postmodernity would have left me feeling defenselessly naïve.
I'll spend new year's eve alone with my mother and grandparents, which can be considered terribly mature and/or vanguardistic or a manifestation of extreme loserdom. I'll try to buy some now illegal fireworks and pretend I'm a pyromaniac teen exercising his newfound independence.

cabezadetrompo @ 2004-12-28T21:51:00

2004-12-29T03:09:14Z

days ago I smoked weed with my friends and, once again, my endogenous cannabinoid system got upset with me and wanted to kill me. I lie to myself and others by saying that I will never have that crap again, although I know I will because the temptation to attempt overcome its effects by will is just too great.
Today I went with Max to the house of el negro Acosta and listened to his collection of indie rock and some of ultrabrutal death metal to contrast. New favorite band for the next few days: Interpol.

A Proper Journal.

2004-12-10T20:04:34Z

Ayer estuve hueveando con Cisco en su cuarto despues de un intento fallido de parranda. La fiesta estaba cerrada. Estaba en el limite entre una disposicion pensativa y el abandono en el momento. Me sente en su cama al costado de unos cuadernos y los comenze a mirar mientras el apuntaba diez mil formulas para su examen de fisica hoy. Uno de esos era un diario que habia comenzado desde que empezo la universidad. Solo llegue a leer 'Manana comienzo clases' en la primera linea de la primera pagina antes que me lo quite. No creo que hayan cosas muy oscuras o privadas ahi, pero a quien no le incomoda que lo lean. Me sorprendio.
Yo me hago tres mil bolas para escribir en este journal del cuerno, cada vez que intento describir lo que paso en el dia, o lo que pense en el dia, lo borro porque suena generico y ciclico. Todos los dias tienen el mismo contenido, tanto en hechos como en pensamientos. Y ahi estaba Cisco, a quien subestimo intelectualmente a pesar mio, escribiendo un diario. Lleno de vida seguro, tan auto-contenido.
El problema son solamente las bolas que me hago por miedo a ser generico y a fallar. Es mas que nada miedo a la incapacidad. Un miedo que por si mismo invalida cualquier sentimiento de ser especial que pueda tener; en el fondo lo dudo enormemente.
Despues Cisco me puso la musica de un CD que le habia hecho a su enamorada Lucia antes de dejarla en Bolivia por venir aca. 'Save Tonight' me rompio el corazon. Estuve escuchandola mirando la foto de su ex-enamorada: me recordaba a Camille. Pero no era nostalgia por Camille lo que me calentaba por dentro y daba un sentimiento de quererme disolver. Yo no queria a Camille sino como simbolo de un estado comunion humana. La simpleza de la cancion, cuatro acordes, pero sin embargo cuatro acordes que no podian ser otros, era la simpleza que quiero en el fondo. La simpleza de Cisco, de sus idas a misa los domingos, de las fotos sesenteras que se toma con su grupo en un 'Estudio Fotografico' en Bolivia que me hacian acordar a la de mi mama, la simpleza de mi mama cuando dice 'Yo hace anhos que no me cuestiono quien soy'. Eso quiero, y sin embargo no la quiero. Por eso estare tan partido.
Ahorita estoy escuchando Oasis otra vez. Cuando escuchaba Live Forever del Definately Maybe a los 11 o 12, el primer cd de mi vida, y pensaba en Naike tenia el mismo sentimiento que tuve ayer en la noche.
Como no voy a ser el mismo que antes, como el yo que era a los 12 no determina el que soy a los 20, como si en el fondo siento exactamente igual. Todo lo que soy irradia de ese centro, y el centro no se mueve ni cambia. Porque entonces quiero cambiar ese centro, que creo yo me dispone a sufrir decepcion. Por burro sera.
Siguiente tema, las asimptotas, caminar hasta el fin del mundo, la carta de paracas, coherencia interna. De ahi escribo mas.

I sneeze therefore I am.

2004-12-10T02:37:19Z

I will be 20 soon.
Shit, Im old.

...de tal manera mi razon enflaquece, que con razon me quejo de la vuestra fermosura

2004-12-06T22:28:59Z

Right now both Andrew and Mike are talking with their girlfriends about college. Both the girls are complaining to them about how they are never going to 'get inside any college' and they try to reason with them. When this fails, they yell.

Some transcriptions.
Andrew: :you are a little bit wacko in the head because who gives a shit.
Mike: You're retarded, You're retarded! So pretty much you spent most of the day worrying about what colleges you're not going to get into.
Andrew: Youre like getting way ahead of yourself here.
Danielle on the other side of the phone: wenee wenee wenee bla bla wenee
Mike: No thats after I call you twice again, after that.
Andrew: Let me call you back like in one minute ok... YOO.. What? No Im still in my room... Oh yeah, tell em that I will be over them as soon as I can, I just gotta get my shit together.
Mike: Ah Jeeza..
Mike: Bye... I love you.

Today I began reading Don Quijote in Spanish. I love its verbose and archaic form, I feel it validates my own usual verbose, flowery and overblown prose. Although I should be revising for finals it is the only book that draws me.

cabezadetrompo @ 2004-11-30T15:29:00

2004-11-30T20:29:18Z


harmonies in thirds are love
brought to you by the isLove Generator

cabezadetrompo @ 2004-11-30T14:41:00

2004-11-30T20:16:13Z

Music and food have the power to make me so happy, especially when I have been starved by either of them. I feel blood and heat pressing against my cheeks from the inside, and my chest burning when I listen to this song.

Family reunion.

cabezadetrompo @ 2004-11-15T10:57:00

2004-11-15T15:59:01Z

Work, i have been doing none of it for the past two weeks, actually the past 4 months. I really feel i need to get my act together and take advantage of this uber fabulous elite education I'm receiving, but it is always much easier not to do it and then complain, as if the fact that accepting idleness erased its fault through the consciousness of it.

I feel I am a palpitation between idleness and the thought of progression. I thought today it was a swelling palpitation; like a Red Giant beating larger and larger until it puffs away, except for the fact that I don't want to puff myself away, but to coalesce into atomic existence.
Like this:

Lecture in 15 minutes. Work.

"quiero envolverme en tus melacatones"

2004-11-10T06:18:41Z

A masterpiece:

by Mirko Serkovic